I have been having a blast this week!

When I first heard about the Bloggy Giveaway, I was intrigued. About 300 bloggers had joined forces to post giveaways that reflected them. Most of the bloggers on the loop seem to be Christian, stay at home moms. The prizes ranged from home made goodies (food, purses, and aprons) to books, to gift cards (there must be a few hundred $$ in Starbucks alone!) to cash (via paypal) to services (custom blogger heading or makeover). The list goes on.... I have no idea how many sites I've visited, but I've bookmarked at least a couple dozen that I want to visit soon. I didn't participate with a giveaway this time, but next time, I want to do it.

Another Mystery is History!

I figured out what was wrong with me 2 weeks ago!

Today, my kids were diagnosed with "Fifth Disease" (so named because it was the 5th rash disease to be named.) It starts with about a week of flu like symptoms--often unnoticed until looking back. Once the rash (a lacy or net like rash) and the appearance of "slapped face" arrives....it is no longer contagious. The incubation period is 4-21 days.

Munchie started the weekend with a rash all over his arms and legs. By Saturday night, he had the red cheeks. His torso was clear. I kept him home from church just in case it was dangerous. Sunday night, Crunchy was red cheeked. This morning, she had a rash on her arms and legs.

I called the doctor, and while I waited for the appointment time, I learned that another therapist at work has a 3 year old who was diagnosed with 5th disease today. We see some of the same kids. And, our sons are in the same 4th grade class. Our doctor confirmed 5th disease, but told us they are no longer contagious.

On the way home, I called our church's children's pastor. Just in case someone asked if there was anything going around. He asked if there was any information about adults. There is a risk for pregnant women. Then John read the paper from the doctor.... in adults, it often settles in joints--especially the knees. Does that sound like anybody we know?!?!?!

After I realized this, I also remember that last week, I had bright red cheeks for a couple of days. I just through it was because I wasn't feeling well. I go back to my doctor on Wednesday, but I think I already know what she's going to say.

Mystery solved.

The Weight is Over

Growing up, I always felt like the fat girl. Oh how I wish I was that "fat" now. When I got married, I weighed about 150 pounds. For the next 10 or 12 years, I gained about 10 pounds a year. No super quick weight gain. No illness, pregnancy, or other event to blame it on. Then my Daddy died. He was 61, and always seemed so strong. But his heart gave out. My mom had already been on heart meds for 10 years. I realized I needed to do something--and fast. I talked to my doctor and started making some changes. I gained and lost the same 20-40 pounds a few times over the following 9 years. Yes. 9 years. Saturday (January 26th) marks 9 years since Daddy went to meet Jesus. His polio stricken legs now longer hold him back.

9 years and what do I have to show for it? I'm still sitting right where I was 9 years ago. I have the same bad habits (Pepsi and chocolate). I still hate to exercise. And I'm still carrying an extra 100+ pounds.

But I'm ready to change. When I see the doctor on Wednesday, I'm going to ask for help. Maybe I can see a nutritionist who can help guide me. I might even check into hiring a personal trainer to keep me on track. But I am determined that this is the year my journey will start. This year (October) I turn 39. I know losing weight and getting in shape won't be easier in my 40s.

As Bob (from Biggest Loser) says, "Game on!"

More thoughts on suffering

My Auntie M (the same one who sent the friendship note), after reading my recent blog entries sent me a couple of quotes. Thanks Auntie M!

My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross, but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory. Thou divine Love, whose human path has been perfected through sufferings, teach me the glory of my cross, teach me the value of my thorn.
--George Matheson

Here's a hymn written by George Matheson, who was blind.

O Love that wil not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee.
I give Thee back the life I owe,
that in Thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.

O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to Thee.
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
that in Thy sunshine's blaze its day may fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee.
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
and feel the promise is not vain that morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from Thee.
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
and from the ground there blossoms red life that shall endless be.

And another song from the same author

Make me a captive, Lord, and then I shall be free.
Force me to render up my sword, and I shall conqueror be.
I sink in life’s alarms when by myself I stand;
Imprison me within Thine arms, and strong shall be my hand.

My heart is weak and poor until it master find;
It has no spring of action sure, it varies with the wind.
It cannot freely move till Thou has wrought its chain;
Enslave it with Thy matchless love, and deathless it shall reign.

My power is faint and low till I have learned to serve;
It lacks the needed fire to glow, it lacks the breeze to nerve.
It cannot drive the world until itself be driven;
Its flag can only be unfurled when Thou shalt breathe from heaven.

My will is not my own till Thou hast made it Thine;
If it would reach a monarch’s throne, it must its crown resign.
It only stands unbent amid the clashing strife,
When on Thy bosom it has leant, and found in Thee its life.

True Friends?

I usually don't post or forward jokes and stories, but this was too cute. (Thanks Auntie M).

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

Galatians 4:16 says, "Have I become your enemy because I told you the TRUTH?" This is a rhetorical question as the answer "NO" is implied.

John 8:32 points out that, "You shall know the TRUTH and the TRUTH will set you free."

True friends tell each other the TRUTH. The TRUTH is sometimes difficult to receive but is easiest to receive from a FRIEND! Because I consider you to be my FRIEND, I give you permission to tell me the TRUTH!

Update--sorry it's late

The nurse called on Monday and all my tests (thyroid and a few others--she talked kind of fast!) came back normal. The only thing that wasn't normal is I'm a bit anemic. The doctor wants to repeat some tests when I got back next week. Most of the pain is gone. Ocassionally I still have some pain in my hands, but it's very minimal.

Struggling today

Yesterday I took my meds (muscle relaxer and anti inflamatory) in the morning. I was tired all day. Last night (when they should have worn off) and today, I'm finding myself kind of grumpy and snippy. I haven't had any "eruptions", but I haven't been very compassionate. I need to sneak some time away to mediate on God's word this morning.

Update on my pain

Yesterday I saw the doctor about the strange pain in my joints. After listing a bunch of things she hoped not to find, and giving me a stack of prescriptions to try, the sent me to the vampire who took 6 vials of blood! Some of the the things they are hoping to rule out are lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. My first cousin has lupus, and my maternal grandma had RA.

Today I'm feeling much better. If I squeeze a tight fist, it hurts, but writing and typing have not been a problem today. And the knee pain has been gone a couple of days.

One thing I have definitely gotten out of this experience is empathy and compassion for people (like my husband) who life with chronic pain. After just a few days I was feeling pretty bad. I can't imagine having that level of pain every day.

Day 11--Bring on the trials

Over the weekend I read the chapter (Change Your Heart, Change Your LIfe by Dr. Gary Smalley). It entitled, "The High Value of Trials". What timing! Last Friday, my knees started hurting. I've been blessed to live a fairly pain-free life (unlike my husband who is constant pain.) But since Friday, I've been in great pain. Both of my knees hurt: when I walk, when I full extend, and when I bend them. Also, my fingers are going through varying degrees of pain. Sometimes I can't close them without pain. Last night, I had to take of my wedding ring (which left an impression). Just a few days ago, my ring was loose enough to spin. Today, nearly every joint---knees, ankles, wrists---are in great pain. I looked so bad John told me to come home from work. My doctor can't see me until Wednesday afternoon. (Although the original date was a week from Friday! Thankfully they got me in early!

Anyway, in this chapter, Gary talks about "treasure hunting" during trials. He talks about how the Bible promises rewards as we go through trials. He suggests that we start giving thanks for the pain as soon as the trial starts, and then look for the gold nugget in the trial.

Okay. Sounds a little crazy. But today, as I drove in pain, I started praying that God would reveal the work He wants to do in my life.

This week, the verses I'm hiding (some I already know!) are:

* And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

* Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (I Thessalonians 5:16-18)

* Consider it pure joy, my brothers when you face trials of many kids, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

* Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (Romans 3:3-5)

* But [the Lord] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Day 6 Update

Yesterday was my 6th day of hiding God's word in my heart---specifically words about avoiding anger.

So far, things are going pretty well. I've had some times I've had to stop and remind myself the verses before I went on. Last night, on the way home from the store, I was contemplating this post. Things had been going pretty well. Then I got home. :0 The big kids (10 and 4) were supposed to pick up the toys in the Crunchy and Munchie's room. (I didn't ask for it to be completely "clean", I just didn't want anybody--especially me!--tripping on the way. I left about 7:30 with Munchie (2). We spent about 30 minutes shopping, and then we drove around for about 20 minutes so he would fall asleep. He did. I called before I got home, and John said they had only been in the bath 15 minutes. (Wow! They must have really cleaned up well if they waited that long to get in!!) I walked in---with a sleeping 2 year old---and got to the room. Not only was the floor not picked up, but there was a huge mess---especially right in front of the door. I called for help once, but John couldn't hear me. So I plodded my way---praying I would trip and fall on my baby.

Then I calmly (after reminding myself not to "take full vent" of my anger, and the benefit of a "gentle answer") walked in and asked John why they waited so long to get in the bath if they weren't doing what I asked. I hadn't told John that they were supposed to be cleaning. He said they came in and asked for a bath at 8.

I walked into the bathroom and asked, "Chewie, why are you in the bathtub?" He told me Daddy said he could. They were playing and suddenly remembered they were supposed to get in the bath. "What were you supposed to do before the bath?" It took a few minutes before he realized what he had done.

I didn't yell. I did express my displeasure, but I believe it was in a calm way that honored God. I was still upset for a while, but I calmed down faster than usual.

I am continuing to hide more words in my heart.

Anger and hiding God's word (Day 2)

Many people never see my anger, and would be surprised to hear that I have an anger problem. There are two groups of people who tend to see my angry outbursts. Unfortunately, one is my family. I will never understand how I can hurt the ones who love me most. The other group is incompetent clerks (think Wal-Mart and McDonalds!)

Yesterday I had the opportunity to see if God's word is taking root. After our date last night, we stopped at Wal-Mart for a few things. This Wal-Mart is notorious for having a problem with their card readers. I found one that didn't have an out of order sign and waited in the long line for my one gallon of milk. When I got to the front and handed the clerk my card, she told me her reader didn't work. ??Why no sign??? I found a supervisor. Normally I would have been quite upset. I was angry, but I didn't react as loudly as normally. And I calmed myself quite quickly. I asked (nicely, I think) if they could make sure they put up signs on registers that don't have working card readers. (This is an on-going problem.)

As I was walking out, I started chewing on, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control". I did give some vent, but not full vent, and I think I kept myself under control. I still have a long way to go, but it was a great start!

Silver "Anniversary"

Last night, John and I went out to dinner. My in-laws had given us a gift card to Red Lobster (including babysitting!) and I had earned another $20 in Red Lobster cards are MyPoints.com*, When we sat down, they gave us a fresh fish menu. I hadn't realized the date. I asked John, "Do you realize what today is?" (He didn't!) Our silver "anniversary". 25 years ago, yesterday, John asked me to "go with" him. I wasn't sure where we were "going", but I said yes. :)

Honestly, I figured it was the beginning of the dating roller coaster. I figured my heart would be broken soon. I mean, nobody ever marries their first boyfriend. Do they? Four years later, we got married on Valentine's Day, and next month will be our 21st wedding anniversary.

I guess fairy tales do sometimes come true!


* Send me your e-mail address if you want to learn how to earn stuff on MyPoints. It's easy!

My first project: "hiding" verses about anger

Dr. Smalley said, "Much of my anger came from a deep belief that bad things happening to me are actually bad". He reacted to bad events in anger because they robbed him of pleasure, good times, and good things he thought he deserved.

Ouch. Too close to home. I tend to react in anger way too often--especially with my husband and kids. But I'm going to replace the wrong beliefs with the beliefs from Scripture.

The first verses I'm hiding in my heart:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11)

Do not be easily provoked in your spirit; for anger resides in the lap of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

**** Yikes! Do I detect a patten here?!?!****

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil. (Psalm 37:8)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32)

Changing my heart and changing my life

Earlier this week, I heard an author on the radio. I'm not even sure what he said, but something in the 30-second blurb compelled me to find and buy his book. (Don't worry, it's not The Secret!) I went to Hasting (the closest thing we have to a "real" book store in Roswell. They had one copy. For almost $25. I never spend that much on a single book. So I left to check Sam's and Wal-Mart. They didn't have it. So I went back to Hastings. The book is, "Change your Heart, Change your Life" by Dr. Gary Smalley.

Over the next 3 or 4 weeks, I'm going to be on an (almost) internet fast. I will check my mail (briefly) each day, and I will update this blog as I can. The only exception will be if I feel a need to write a friend a letter. No sweepstakes. No surveys. No surfing. I'm going to spend some time "hiding God's word in my heart, so I don't sin against Him.". That's the premise of the book. Not a new concept, I know. King David penned those words.

I will be sharing some of the insight I gain here.

* No one can make me unhappy. My ability to be happy or unhappy is entirely in my hands. I will be as happy as the beliefs in my heart allow me to be.

* What I think about all day long, over long periods of time, eventually seeps into my heart as a belief.

* I can pass on a new kind of inheritance. How I act will reflect what I believe and in turn, those beliefs will be reflected within my own children and grandchildren for generations.

* America is awash with the idea that everyone has a right to have whatever he or she wants and to be free from any kind of misfortune.

* You feel the way you think, you think the way you believe. Beliefs are the primary source of your attitudes, reactions, feelings, and behaviors.

* Events don't cause my feelings. What I think about the events cause my feelings.

* Most of our unhappiness in life comes from the three "deadlies": the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life.

I love Dr. Smalley's paraphrase of that verse:

Don't crave the things the average person in the world craves. Don't take on beliefs of the world, which are:
1. The deep cravings to stimulate your bodies with never ending pleasures, excitements, or thrills.
2. The carvings to buy more and more stuff, play things, and tasty foods to fill your houses and stomachs; and
3. bragging about all you have and you have accomplished and taking the credit for it all instead of giving glory and thanks to God.
1 John 2:15-17

More later.