The game is on!

Tonight I (finally) met with my personal trainer. The gym was beautiful! (No, that isn't a word I expected to ever use in association with a gym! Angie (my trainer) rents gym space from her mentor who has a "guest house" that is a compete gym. Tonight, we filled out a lot of paperwork (medical history, eating habits, release of liability, etc), took measurements (weight, girth and body fat), and did some strength tests. Then we went over the Fitness Journal.

The expectations are reasonable. I will take a brisk 15 minutes walk 6 days a week. After Angie creates my plan, I will start doing about 30 minutes of resistance training 3 days a week. I don't have to measure my food, but we talked about guidelines and how to ball park servings (first of pasta, meat equal to my palm, and 2 handfuls of veggies.)

We talked a lot about my concerns and fears. We talked about addiction to soda (Angie just broke free of Dr. Pepper in July!

I am very excited about starting. I talked to my sister who has already started her weight loss journey. She told me I'm going to succeed this time. And the reason is I have someone whose only focus is to keep my on track. I've been taking care of everybody else for so long. It's time to let someone help take care of me.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.....here is my first step.

Caught in the cross fire?

This morning, I went to meet one of my client's grandma at her job--a local elementary school. I was right on time: 9:15 am. I walked in and the halls were completely empty. I mean---not a soul in sight. I've spent lots of time in many different schools (I taught full time for 5 years and was a substitute teacher for another 8!) I have never seen a school completely empty during school hours. I tried the office door, and it was locked. That was weird. The office is always open! I proceeded down the hall to the office I needed. No sign of her---or anyone else. I headed back to the office. Down the other hall, I saw the principal. He called out, "We're in lockdown". I just stood there, so he said it again. I asked, "What do I do?" He called out, "Leave the campus and come back in 15 minutes.". Okay.

I'm glad it was a drill and not a real emergency. I would have been right in the middle of the crossfire if there had been a gunman! I could have walked into a trap---totally unaware of what was waiting for me. And, imagine if I had gone to take Chewie his lunch or something at his school. I might have panicked if I had walked in and found NOBODY at his school!

Often, we walk into unknown situations. There is no telling what might be waiting. We know that Satan is running around like a lion---seeking whom he may devour. Sometimes, we know the danger is there, and we walk in anyway. We need to keep our eyes open and be alert.

Why is it so hard to change?

Why do I do the things I don't want to do? I know I'm not alone. The Apostle Paul said:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do. Romans 7)

I want to lose weight. I want to improve my health. I want to eat better. Instead....I continue to drink Pepsi. I don't exercise. I eat chocolate.

There's an old song that says:

You desire is the confirmation that the destination is there

I desire to make the changes. I really want the results. But I struggle with the daily steps necessary. Will it ever get easier? Or will I have this fight the rest of my life?

There's a new song by Rush of Fools called "Undo". It's where I feel I am....

I've been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in......

[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

I can't live without....

I decided to enter a group writing project hosted by Does Mommy Love it?. The question is "A family product I can't live without". Hmm...since my children are at various stages (toddler, almost Kindergartner and 4th grader) there isn't a single product I can think of that is indispensable to all of us.

Right now, I would have to say that my favorite family item right now is the Leap Frog Reading DVDs. Several of my friends have recommended this videos over the years, but I didn't buy any until this fall. We got the "Letter Factory" first. This DVD introduces each letter with a catchy song (found on many Leap Frog products, such as the Fridge Phonics set.)
The B says, "Buh"
The B says, "Buh"
Every letter makes a sound
And B says, "Buh"
(to the tune of "The Farmer in the Dell")

My 4 1/2 year old learned ALL of her letters and sounds within just a week or two! My 2 1/2 year old isn't saying any of the sounds, but he does enjoy watching it (and asks for it by name!) It is entertaining enough that my 10 year old doesn't mind watching it.

We liked it so much that we found the "Talking Word Factory" which introduces word families (such as "at"). "The Talking Word Factory 2" which introduces advanced phonics (such as the silent e). Our latest addition is "Learn to Read at the Story Book Factory" which introduces chunking words (like "once upon a time") and even punctuation. (This week I heard my daughter singing about the importance of punctuation! That's not a word most 4 years olds use!)

We often have the videos running on repeat throughout the day. They don't sit very long at a time, but they come back to them and catch a few minutes here and there.

"I love you up to Heaven"

Crunchy and I have been playing a game this week. I'm guessing she's remembering the book Guess How Much I love You.

In this book, Little Nutbrown Hare tries to outdo his father (Big Nutbrown Hare) in expressing his love:

"I love you this much" (but Daddy's arms are longer)
"I love you as high as I can reach" (but Daddy can reach high).
"I love you all the way down the lane as far as the river" and Daddy replies, "I love you across the river and over the hills".
It ends with, "I love you to the moon" and Daddy replies, "I love you to the moon---and back"

Crunchy and I have been playing this game. Sometimes she comes up with some good ones. Some of hers are kind of interesting.
"I love you as wide as an acorn tree".
"I love you as tall as target"
"I love you up to the stars"
"I love you to the bottom of the ocean".

But I think our favorite is, "I love you to the moon---and back".

More delays...

I had to reschedule last night's orientation with the personal trainer. :( My husband has been very sick for more than 3 weeks. He has flu like symptoms, but the tests show no flu. He's weak and achey and pretty much miserable. I hope next week looks better. I was starting to make better choices in food, but I'm so exhausted. (I know...bad excuse!) I've been drinking Pepsi again. But I'm trying not to overdo it. I have (mostly) stayed away from sweets. This is going to be a long journey....

Tomorrow is the day!

I meet with my personal trainer tomorrow evening. I got a head start on my eating habits over the past two days. No Pepsi! (My biggest vice) and lots of water. I stocked up on healthy(er) snacks. Albertson's had Quaker products on sale for a good price. I got a bunch of breakfast and snack items. I'm terrible about skipping breakfast. These are fast and easy, so no excuses. I'm not sure how good they are for me, but they are whole grain, and at up to 220 calories, they are better than a fast food breakfast! I did splurge on one thing tonight. Since the two new Starbucks opened up in town my hubby's been frequenting them. Tonight, I decided to join him and had a (non coffee) double chocolate frappuchino. Tomorrow I'll be better!

Cleaning up my blog

I decided I needed to come up with a set of topic labels to make it easier to view. Instead of about 25 labels, I now have about a dozen. I'm going to try to blog about a variety of topics that come under each of these topics.

For some reason, I had about 40 (!) draft versions of a post I never made on New Year's Day. I got those deleted.

Now, I'm going to start posting regularly!

I love my hubby (and I have the shirt to prove it!)

During the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival a couple of weeks ago, I discovered From Me Tees (http://www.frommetees.com/index.htm). They are T-shirts that, rather than make fun of spouses, encourages us to support and respect them. (What a novel idea!) I was going to buy myself one, but I wasn't sure if the 2X was a "generous" 2X or a small 2X. But I really wanted a way to show my husband (and the world!) how much I love him. So, for about $15 (and a couple of t-shirts from my closet!) I made 3 shirts. I found iron on transfers specifically for dark colors (3 for $7) at Wal-Mart. (The lighter colors ones were 3 for $5). I bought one t-shirt (the pink one) for about $6. The purple one I've had for a couple of years. The black one was a hand-me down from a co-worker.

The three shirts say:
*True Love is not a fairy tale
*I found Prince Charming (and I didn't have to kiss any frogs!)
*Forever his bride"

Biggest Loser: Grace Edition

On Sunday, there was a note in the bulletin. Our church is hosting a Biggest Loser Contest. I'm not really sure if there will be prizes for the winner, or if the idea is for us all to be winners as we "Get in Shape in '08". I signed up---and weighed in Pastor's office. We will be having potlucks once a month with an emphasis on a certain type of healthy food (appetizer, entre' etc.) I'm looking forward to it. And the timing couldn't be better! I'll be starting with my trainer soon (maybe even next week if she's ready!).

I'm so ready to get rid of this extra baggage!

Psalm 13---A paraphrase

I'm currently doing a Beth Moore Bible Study on The Psalms of Assents (Stepping Up). One of the things she encourages us to do is to "Pray it". To write our own Psalm based on our own lives. Psalm 13 is not a Psalm of Assents (Psalm 120-134), but it is one of my favorites. And it fits where I am today.

Psalm 13---Paraphrased
(A Psalm of Julie)

How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
When will you deliver my family from the sick bed?

How long must my husband wrestle with migraines and fibromalgia,
and my family with croup, 5th Disease, c. pneumoniae, and bronchitis?
How long will germs and disease triumph over us?

Send help, O LORD my God.
Give rest to my eyes, or I will collapse in exhaustion;

give me energy to do my job during the day,
and strength to care for my sick family during the evening and night.

But I trust that you are in control;
my heart rejoices knowing You will deliver.

When I am up in the middle of the night with one of the kids, I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

I got a "sign": I'm hiring a personal trainer

Part 1:
I decided to contact a friend who is a personal trainer. I know that I have not been able to make the changes on my own. I need help figuring out what I need to do next and what to eat when and all that stuff. If you read my post below, you know that I've been working off and on for 10 years. It's time to do it right. My friend offers a plan that will include a full evaluation, a six week plan, and 3 workouts with her. The cost is $235. Additional 6 week sessions will be $200.

Part 2:
On my paycheck yesterday, I realized that my hourly salary was wrong. I was short 25 cents an hour. Not really enough to make a big difference ($20 a check). Anyway, they looked back over the past 6 months and gave me a check for what they owed me.

The sign:
The check was for $243.50. More than enough to cover the first 6 week session and evaluation! How is that for a sign?!?!

We are hoping to go out of town for our anniversary mid-month, so I probably won't start until March 1st (or maybe a week sooner.