Sunday, October 07, 2007

If you didn't have birthday, you wouldn't be you...

If We Didn’t Have Birthdays
By Dr. Seuss

If we didn’t have birthdays, you wouldn’t be you.
If you’d never been born, well then what would you do?

If you’d never been born, well then what would you be?
You might be a fish! Or a toad in a tree!

You might be a doorknob! Or three baked potatoes!
You might be a bag full of hard green tomatoes.

Or worse than all that…Why, you might be a WASN’T!
A Wasn’t has no fun at all. No, he doesn’t.

A Wasn’t just isn’t. He just isn’t present.
But you…You are YOU! And, now isn’t that pleasant!

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I cried all the way to church this morning. I'm not really sure why. It's not a big "milestone" birthday, like 30 or 40. I am now closer to 30 than 35, but age has never mattered to me. (In fact, last month I had to ask John if I was already 38 or turning 38. The answer is, I will be 38 tomorrow.

I've always loved my birthday. I've never been ashamed of my age and I like it when people remember and acknowledge my birthday. Can I confess here? The first year I was married, I bought myself a pin that said, "It's my birthday" and gave it to John to "give" to me! I love birthdays!

So....why so melancholy today? What's different this year? The only thing I can figure is that it seems like nothing has changed since last year this time. I think the biggest disappointment is my weight. About 18 months ago, I set a goal to lose over 100 pounds by my 38th birthday. But, here I sit at the same weight I started. I've lost as much as 30 pounds, but it comes back quickly.

I have never been obsessed with my weight or diets. I don't want to spend my entire life obsessed with food. But the closer I get to 40, the more concerned I am about my high risk for diabetes. I want to live long enough to see my kids, grandkids, and even great-grandkids (?).

Maybe this will be the year I reach (or at least come close to) my goal.

Happy birthday to me.

1 comment:

Jenni Saake - Hannah's Hope, InnerBeauty, InfertilityMom, Hannah's Hope said...

{{{hugs}}} I just lost 7 pounds in 36 hours, but it was that same nasty method you "tried" earlier in the year - the flu! I'm sorry this is such a struggle, my friend. Love you!