Sunday, July 13, 2008

How to...

I decided to participate in An Island Life's Group Writing Project

How to make a large (and expensive) paperweight...

There are many steps to making a large (and expensive) paperweight.

1. Spend a few days rearranging your furniture to make room for the new paperweight. In our case, we switched entertainment centers with our son and moved the computer desks and couches to fit in our bedroom/living room.

2. Allow your husband to select the biggest (and most expensive) flat panel television that your budget can afford. Since I had just received a nice bonus, John selected a 50 inch plasma. Which he then traded for a 47 inch LCD model.

3. Purchase a Wii game system. This is the most important step. This step may take some time. In our area, the Wii is difficult to find in stock. But don't let this dissuade you from your mission. It is very important to the plan.

4. Get the family addicted to the new large TV and Wii. In our house, even Mamaw and Papaw enjoyed a weekly movie night with the kids followed by a game of bowling and/or golf on the Wii.

5. Create the paperweight. This step requires either a deliberate destructive act (which I don't recommend) or a careless mistake (again, I don't recommend this, but it would be better than the first choice.) For my project, I put the Wiimote (the remote control for the Wii) into the new $5 tennis racket John found on clearance. (We have an idea, now, why it was only $5.) This final step requires an act of great force. For me, it was a backhand return of the volley. As you feel the Wiimote leave your hand, listen for the subtle crash as impact is made.

6. Admire your new large (and expensive) paperweight. (Or, do like I did, and cry like a baby.)

7 comments:

Jenni Saake said...

Great writing, Julie! (And I'm still so sorry about your t.v. but so proud of your family for how you all handled it!)

Debbie said...

Hehe. New technology- the ultimate in frustration :-P

Killlashandra said...

Just think no tv makes for more family time. ;)

Couldn't resist, I often wish I could break our tv and make the family play a game every now and then.

Glad all is well though.

MoziEsmé said...

Ouch!

Dana a/k/a Sunshine said...

OH MY GOSH!!!! Did that really happen? Tell me that is made up! If not, I think I'll cry right along with you.

We have a Wii and I have heard of those type of accidents...that is painful!!!!

forgetfulone said...

Oh, I would cry so hard, too! I loved how you wrote your how-to, though. Very clever. We also changed from the larger plasma to the LCD when we bought ours a few months ago. I'm so sorry about your TV, though. I can only imagine. Thanks for visiting my how-to.

Good N Crazy said...

Sooooo funny. I have one of those already...Hmmm how can I....?